Learning how to say No can be a tough task if you’ve been taking care of so many other people for far to long. I find this especially true for women since they are natural caregivers and in many cases, including myself, have put the feelings of others before their own! Yes, it’s true. It happens all the time. In my opinion, we have all catered to someone before but now it’s time to turn that focus and all of that loving energy on to yourself. But be careful that you are not using this mantra for all the good things you just don’t know about, yet.
One tool I use is called Weeding the Garden. This is where you actually check your phone, who have you called in the past thirty days? Check your FaceBook account, who are your friends? Check your evening time, what are you doing after work? This is a great way to really think about the people you are surrounding yourself with because they are influencing your life, even if you haven’t noticed, yet.
When you are focusing on a better life, better health and more loving relationships, then the first person you start thinking about is how you can have better health, a better life and more loving relationships. It always starts with you first. As soon as you change your attitude or gain better understanding or learn a new tool, you effect everything around you. So make it a positive change that will affect you and your circle of friends and family first.
When I returned from 15 years of living outside of Texas, I was hungry for my family because I had missed them for so long. Rekindling so many relationships was like we hadn’t been apart for long. And some friends can seem just as tight as family, but the great thing is that you get to pick them! The point is to cultivate your garden of relationships and that includes pulling weeds when necessary.
Staying in the present is all that is expected of you. Stop to think about what you love. What is it that makes you happy? Do you know? Taking all of the commotion and noise out of your life will leave you with stillness and THAT’s where you will find healing and happyness. Pealing off each layer of expectations, oughts and shoulds may feel odd at first, and it may even be tougher than you think, but once it’s off for a moment, you will feel yourself settle into your own growth spurt! When you know you love something you will feel it inside. Saying yes, should feel great! Learning the difference can be a subtle part of your day, but learning the difference will support a happyer existence.
Try it today so you can think about if you really want to do something or not, and then you can respond from a place of knowingness. Say it with me, “No, Thank you” “And if I change my mind, I will get back to you!” or “I LOVE IT! Yes!”
Like the songs says, I don’t like it – I LOVE IT!