On this Lifestyle Pathway towards healing and wellness, keep in mind that everyone you meet is also going through something you may not know about. So when you are feeling totally down in the dumps, and life is just super crappy, be careful of TMI. TMI is an acronym for To Much Information. Being sensitive to your voice and who is in earshot of your stories is imperative, especially when you are in so much pain. This happens in varying degrees depending on the amount of pain you may be experiencing.
Just the other day I was having dinner with two friends and one is also a breast cancer survivor like me, and the other is not. Yet, my survivor friend and I have our own dialogue about life in general, so when our new friend heard us talking about our time in cancer therapy, she was obviously a bit uncomfortable. When I saw her face, I apologized and quickly tried to change the subject. In other situations, when we talk about survivor stories with non-survivors in the audience, they may respond with compassion or empathy. You just never know how other people perceive conversations about obstacles and overcoming them. Being sensitive to the situation is best for communication, especially when you have a message of hope!
In my opinion, Say it don’t spray it is when you are in dire pain and feel like no one is listening and before you know it, you’ve over shared your story with anyone that will listen. And in terms of wellness and happyness, scientific studies have shown that a large percentage of cancer patients have had an emotionally catastrophic incident within two years of their diagnosis. This could be a major transition in life like a major loss including loved ones from a divorce or death, or even a large move which drastically changes your lifestyle. The point is to be aware of these signs in yourself and people around you, just in case they may need to seek doctors care to help resolve some of these issues and manage pain.
Personally, I was incredibly angry at my life as it kept falling apart piece by piece, and just when I’d get used to my new existence, something else would break. Just when I thought I had hit rock bottom, there was a new depth to figure out. I was spinning out of control and within two years almost to the day of three major issues, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Anger is only a thought which means it can be changed. But sometimes no one can tell you otherwise. Teaching from experience is my way of sharing hope that if this sounds like you or a loved one, that you can get the support you need to overcome the obstacle before your health gets worse.
www.ChangeCycle.com gives a great definition of change that starts with Stage 1 which includes Loss, with feelings of fear, thoughts of cautiousness and where behavior is paralyzed. Then to Stage 2 which is Doubt including feelings of resentment, thoughts of skepticism, and behavior is resistant. Stage 3 is Discomfort with feelings of anxiety, thoughts are confused and behavior is unproductive. Then to Stage 4 which is Discovery with feelings of anticipation, thoughts are resourceful and behavior is energized. Then to Stage 5 which is Understanding with feelings of confidence, thoughts are pragmatic and behavior is productive. And finally, Stage 6 is Integration with feelings of satisfaction, thoughts are focused and behavior is generous. Change does have it’s own set of steps and understanding where you are in the process can give you the tools you need to make progress towards a complete change. Take care of your yourself.