Curse of the Healer

Recently I was having wine with a two girlfriends and after listening to my new friend, who is also a Reiki healer talk about healing, I finally figured she would be able to help me out with an issue that has randomly popped up in my work.  I explained to her that I adore my clients, friends and patients and found that sometimes when I get really close to their situation and provide helpful intervention, then our relationship changes.  It’s as if, I got to close or saw deep inside, which I do, and then they want to close up and run away from either fear or embarrassment, and I wasn’t sure which.

For example, with one of my clients in the middle of radiation and chemotherapy treatment, we worked together to get to the root of the cause of her dis-ease with life and we laughed and worked and I gave her time in between sessions to really get comfortable with the transformation that was happening before my eyes.  Yet, when we were done with our sessions and we still met as friends, everything changed.  We had a great time, and she urged me to continue teaching and that she would always be a great supporter.  Fast forward and now she won’t take my calls and she won’t tell me exactly why.  I’m concerned that she might have been re-diagnosed, but then it doesn’t have to be about me.  I figured, once I became her teacher and guru which means, taking one from darkness to light, I was more interested in helping those that needed me and keeping my energy high.

While drinking wine and speaking openly, my Reiki friend says to me, It’s the cure of the healer Sandy.  You did get close and you were able to help her through a rough time and transform her life, but now she has moved on just as you have.  She has shut that door and is most likely doing great and moving forward with her life.  She sees  you as part of her journey and so, that is part of her past when she didn’t know what she knows now.

I’m thinking to myself, Sandy, how would you feel if you saw someone from your past, like your first husband? Before, when you were going through breast cancer, friends asked you if you’d ever return to Geneva.  And now you are planning to visit!

For me, it’s all part of the larger healing process.  I feel in my heart that someday I will lovingly see my first husband just as my past client will some day see me and not feel a thing.  It will pass.  I won’t evoke a memory of past pain to my client and seeing my first husband will be like seeing an old friend.  Everyone is set up in our lives for a reason and to teach us something about ourselves.  At least that is what I believe.  I will not return to dis-ease with past experiences over and over again.  They have all been removed or I have let them settle so that over time I could change the perspective and see the blessings.  A guy I dated in my past called it Flipping the Script.

Flipping the script takes deep inner searching to happen, and here is my own example.  Just like my radial oncologist explained to me that my dis-ease with life started when I got married, now I happily share that my marriage took me all over the world and spending a year in Geneva is where I met so many great friends who are coming to visit me next week!  All it takes is time and my work is to help others get through transformations in less than 8 years.